Thursday 21 January 2010

No Need To Rush

That's what one of my boss's told me and a fellow cleaner during a lecture on vacuuming and looking after our extension cords. They catch and tear a lot. It sucks – get it? That was terrible!

I have to laugh at that comment. What with all the overtime I do. I wanted to quit (again). I’m trying to work out when to hand in my notice. Got some birthdays coming up and I do like to give presents. Hmm. How can I leave without another job? I HATE being on the dole.

I sent David an email today. On Monday I had sent a text saying: After careless procrastination I’ve decided I’m not a scriptwriter. Thanks anyway, Amy. I was dreading getting an “Okay” reply. (So dismissive, so male, “okay”). It’s all right it didn’t happen, I didn’t hear anything from him. So I emailed him. That got a reply. I don’t know why I wrote this but I said I might run away with Terry; even though he’s old enough to be my father. Because what have I got to live for here? David said we should talk about it before I “run off with my chap.” Just about the scriptwriting I hope! God, how embarrassing would it be to talk about running away. I wouldn't do that to Terry. I'm a bitch but not that much. I'd only go live with him if that's what I truly wanted to do. At the moment the offer just feels like taking the easy way out, cheating.

I emailed David to say I was hasty and if he’s ignoring my text I’m willing to as well. I haven’t really given it a proper go yet. It really is too early to come to the conclusion that I can’t be a scriptwriter. He agreed. I also told him I won’t be getting it finished by the end of this month. I honestly have no idea how long it will take me to write a half hour script.

Is there any reason to rush? Saying "No" takes some arbitrary weight off me. It may take David longer to help me but once I’ve done it I’ll feel better about myself. And the way things stand it's not like Go Girl! is waiting for stories to shoot. The job I was offered was Script Supervisor not writer. Although if I was given the chance I'd go for it.


4 comments:

GarryN said...

Hang in there Amy , you can't give up yet and run away with your chap. Who would i meet and have Garry's with?

Square Eyes said...

Oh as if you don't have an enough interest from the ladies.

I had a nice time with my chap last weekend. (Even with one night of work to get through, yuck!) As much as I like him how can I run away with him?

Oh man I've been drinking too much recently - well since just before Chirstmas if I'm honest. I don't think I can deal with anything properly at the moment.

Shit!

GarryN said...

I'm glad you had fun with your chap but maybe the drinking is getting out of control. Can we catch up when i get back and compared ...um ... notes?

Square Eyes said...

I don't really want to talk about Ruby (or others) with you. But we can catch up.