Spotted

Oh my God! I got recognised from the adult website BeNaughty in Dan Murphy’s this afternoon. This guy said something like, “How are you doing?” And I think, “Can I help you?” He was wearing a yellow high visibility shirt and carrying a case of beer so for a moment I thought he might work there. So after I said no thanks I went back to my wine selection and then he asked if my name was “Oz.” Well that’s what I thought he said but when I said no he’s like, “Eyes from the net?” I denied it but I felt my face going red while thinking “Oh shit!” He had a nice voice and was young to boot – woo hoo! – but it still freaked me out a bit. I wasn’t sure if I recognised him, but I didn’t get that great, or long, a look at him.

It was weird because when I was in Safeway earlier I was thinking about it happening. Not that I wanted it to. And actually one time in Safeway this man tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention because he seemed to know who I was. It turns out he was the painter doing next door’s house. I never really looked at him properly while he was working – shame because he was quite good looking in his civvies – so until he told me who he was my face must have been a startled blank. He was also with a woman, who I assumed was his partner so for a split moment I was thinking, “Is this some couple from BeNaughty who recognise me?”

It’s a weird, totally sex with little commitment, site. I won’t bore you with why or how I ended up as a member but as it’s free for women I have checked it out from time to time. You can look at people’s photos and chat, email or “wink” at them. You can see who has viewed your profile and do your own searching. There’s all this explicit stuff you can fill out for your profile too. In a way it just seems pointless to me when free chat is used often enough for hooking up with people. Seriously can’t understand why anyone would pay. Men! I don’t know. I know I have pissed off a few guys for not being interested. I did close my profile down but about a week or so later I joined again. (I missed getting the annoying emails okay).

I’m thinking now I’m going to be avoiding it. I’m not sure whether or not I will close it down again. I probably should but I have met some people I enjoy talking too. But really I know I have no proper place there.

Give Us A Go

Hello there, how can I fulfil your fantasy today?

Oh crikey dot com! Amazingly I got a call back from Adult Fantasy House this morning (before ten! I don’t know, that impressed me). I was totally surprised and in the middle of a car race on my mum’s Nintendo DS. It was all a bit crazy. I was shocked and sounded a bit hesitant but then I mentioned having done it for fun with men from chat. She said all our men are lovely and regulars. I was trying to work out how it all worked, especially as they patch you through on your landline, and she explained you do shifts, how much you’d be aiming to earn when you start out and that I’ll need a bloody ABN.

(That’s come up a lot lately in my job search. The first time I’d have to get one if I wanted to be a contract cleaner. There was no way I wanted to make that sort of commitment to cleaning! And it also came up for a job as a freelance writer for an online newsletter called WeekendNotes. You subscribe and they send things to do in your city. From what I’ve read I feel my writing is up to scratch but I don’t feel creative enough to write regularly to earn any money. Plus I’m in Melbourne and I’ve never found that much to do here. However, I am tempted to submit something just to see what they say. I would like get some feedback on my writing).

Anyway once I got an idea of how it worked it did sound doable. She suggested doing a trail shift next week. I was going to nominate Wednesday but I think I have a doctor’s appointment then and I hesitated again saying I need to check my diary and she said call the boss back if you’re interested and I was just about to ask for the number when she hung up on me. I hope I haven’t fucked up. I’ll just email them again and nominate Thursday morning. I need a bit of time to think up some dirty banter. It should also give me a bit of time to think and discuss getting an ABN.

The most exciting news from that call is that they do have work available and I really don’t want to miss out. Oh blimey sometimes I know I’m my worse enemy. Still I am a little bit excited now.

Should I Take That As A Compliment?

I had a job interview on Saturday morning for a fast food chicken bugger joint. They’re opening a new store in Highpoint. So basically it’s starting out from scratch. I was asked what I prefer to do, work out the front or out the back doing food prep. I said I love cooking so I wouldn’t mind working out the back. I think that was good that I like cooking but then he said, “We like to put the pretty ones out the front.” Now I already know that girls tend to be put out the front of fast food places. When he said it though I was like, “Oh?” I think that OH may have even been expressed on my face at the time. A nice addition the pink I could feel on my nervous, flushed cheeks. Was that a compliment? Was he flirting with me? (Fucked if I know!) Although a good looking (young) man, I had already noticed his thick and prominent wedding ring. I was thinking, “Well what does that mean?!” And, “Surely that’s up to you/the customer (if I’m pretty or not).” It feels like it, but I just don’t know. I asked the Old Man about it and he thinks he probably was flirting. Okay that’s nice – as I said he was good looking so if it was an option I would go there. However what I really liked is he made me feel smart. Well smart enough to cope with that job at least. When he asked if I had worked in the industry before I said no but he didn’t think that was a problem. There’s going to be training and he said I could handle it. (Was that all he wanted me to handle? ENOUGH! God Amy get out a bit more would ya!) There are a lot of applicants so if I don’t hear by Friday then I didn’t get it. As far as interviews go it felt all right. But what the hell does that mean?

I went to the dentist today for the first time in over ten years. My mum had been recently so I was prepared for a long and expensive visit. She also told me not to get upset if they lectured me for not having a check-up in years. I got there early and once the receptionist was off the phone I was being lead into the surgery. I was shocked. Did you know you can now watch TV while you’re being scrapped and drilled? The sunglasses where interesting too. Not that I ever remembered being blinded by the overhead light before, OH&S at work here? If that’s the case I don’t think the TV was a very good idea. I could see the nurse glancing at it regularly. So, after all that I doubt I was in there for more than ten minutes. The doctor didn’t tell me off and I paid $45 less than my mother had to and I was expecting to. She was home when I got back and I told her. She was mightily pissed off about the money and rang them. It turns out my teeth didn’t need much cleaning and where healthy. It would have been nice of the dentist to tell me that at the time. At the end all he said was, “They seem good.” I was told to rinse and that was it. I was like huh? So once again I wondered, was that a compliment? I know for sure now because they explained the fee discrepancy to my mum.

One last thing, about two weeks ago there was an ad in the local paper for looking for ladies to join an adult call centre. I applied eagerly and perhaps a little naively. In all honesty I think it is work I could do and it’s been suggested to me by men on chat who I’ve ended up talking to on the phone. Some strangers and some I’ve gotten to know. Anyway, I may not be the best at talking dirty but there’s something about my voice that they love. I never did hear back from them. You could either email or phone but I only emailed. Seems a bit redundant but I don’t like calling people. I didn’t want to give up so I found another place to apply. They didn’t have any specific vacancies but you can leave a message and your landline saying you’re interested. So that’s what I did today:

Hello!

I have thought about doing this work before but I never knew how to go about getting it. (I tried applying to a newspaper advert a couple of weeks ago but they haven't got back to me).

As far as experience goes I've done this before as a bit of fun after chatting with men online. I have a nice, I'm told sexy, speaking voice. Some have suggested I do it professionally,(but I'm not sure if they were just teasing). I wouldn't mind finding out though. ;-)

About half of that came from my original email. See what I mean about it being a bit gushy/girly and naive? I’m curious to find out how it works. I remember seeing one of the characters, a stay at home mum, in Short Cuts doing it and other bits of telly and film. It all made it seem like something I could do.

I may not think I’m pretty – not Adult Fantasy House pretty – but I do think I have a nice and maybe even sexy voice. It’s one of the few compliments I can take.

I Don't Believe It

I went into Seek today, just to check out what was happening on the job market. Top, as in most recent, cleaning job was my old job! I don't know if I should apply. It's actually a Casual role and I see the hours have been cut back (minus half an hour). I already knew they were doing that. Oh fuck! I just had a thought, what if that message I left on the whiteboard comes back to haunt me? Well, I doubt I'd get my exact floors again. God I hope not. Why am I even considering this?!?

I actually applied for another cleaning job on Monday and got a rejection. Which is total bullshit because I was a certificate above what they were looking for but of course they tell me I'm not suitable. I DON'T want to be a Cleaner but I know I can do it.

This morning I sent a text message to my very first cleaning boss. She was from Spotless but I know that site and contract at RMIT has been lost. I heard she was still working there but I assume that her mobile was a Spotless one so I suspect that was a futile exercise. I plan to get up early and try to catch her on her way out. I've done that before. The hours were hideous but there were more of them and it had a much better penalty rate so, yes better money than my last cleaning job. The vain side of me also likes the fact that I lost a hell of a lot of weight doing that job and I know I've put on weight steadily since the last Christmas holiday period. None of the men seem to care but I do. And women know, because they no longer ask if I've lost weight! Bitches!!! LOL.


I don't know what I want to do. I mean writing would be great but what? How would that work? So how about admin? Yeah I try, and rather junior positions at that, but still no joy.

Looking at that photo I'd rather make a mess in an office than clean it up. I'm a bit reluctant to go back to school because I've done a short Tafe course before and it didn't help at all. The local Tafe is just down the road from Terry's place and they do offer admin classes but after a week here I'm not sure I could make this a permanent thing. (I'm a bit scared of meeting the family tomorrow. We're having a barbecue!)

I obviously have to do something. But I don't know what. I look at cleaning as something to do in the meantime and a bit of dosh for a holiday or something. But then I know when I was cleaning I wasn't job hunting as hard. God! Maybe I am just a cleaner, as depressing as that sounds. A lot of people do jobs they don't want to. Although I don't have enough hours to make the money to have much of a life outside of work. Fucky, fuck, fuck!

You see I'm still not sure about applying for the Transfield job. I still have their card in my wallet so I could be rather direct in my application. Should I be a bit more ambitious and try for something better than cleaning? I do apply for other things but....well you know. Money or nothing? I haven't gone on the dole and if I could get a job soonish (and to my mind that means cleaning) then I can avoid the dole altogether. I'd be happy about that but miserable about my job. Nothing changes.

So Much For That!

It was a month ago from my last post that I found - via a response to an email I'd sent whilst desperate for information - that there was no work for me at The Alfred. In Ms Gooden's words: At this stage, I don’t have anything suitable. Given your initial reluctance to take the isolation cleaning role, we had to allocate it to another candidate quickly. I still have your details so if something else comes up that is similar to what you were looking for, then I will be in contact. (Yeah right Helen!)

Now the thing that pisses me off most about this is that in the meantime I was getting messages from my boss and her that there WOULD be something for me. She knew there wasn't an isolation/specialist position right away. She should have told me that. I wrote to her: That's very disappointing and contradictory news. I don't think it was unreasonable of me to ask to think about it and have a chance to discuss this specialist cleaning role with my family and friends. I checked my email and I did get back to you the next day. You had told me originally it was a cleaning shift like the work I do currently, then at the second interview sprung it on me that it wasn't. I have to say I'm a bit surprised and rather upset by the news that there's nothing for me. I felt strung along and ultimately ripped off. I'm still furious there is nothing for me within Spotless. I worked SO hard for them.

Oh and yes you're right she never got back to me after that email. Terry wanted to call her and tell her off. He still wanted to last night when I started to cry and tell him about my last day. The shitty thing for me is a I found out the bad news a few days before my birthday party. I told people I wouldn't let it ruin my night and I'd try not think about it but you know me. No chance! And actually it was pretty much the only news I had to tell some people. LOL. (She can laugh now. But it won't last).

People have told me that's bullshit. (People at work have implied that too). Pretty much everyone is unhappy with that woman and Spotless in general. Most of the bosses and supervisors are out of a job now. Seems like all the other cleaners have something to tide them over. I don't know what I'm going to do. Even seeing it coming I don't think I could prepare myself for the tears I shed last night. I have applied for some jobs but no response so far.

I happened to mention to one of the Parking and Traffic Officers that it was my last week, that we had lost the contract and I'd be finishing on Wednesday. Word must have got around because one of the lady officers that's always been nice to me said goodbye and that I'd be missed. I know, I know, it's a crappy job and I've bitched about people there before but it was all I had. Now I have nothing and it's really fucking scary. People tell me how nice and smart I am and that I'll get something else. Well I have to but I don't believe it will be that soon. It was hard enough and long enough waiting for my previous cleaning jobs. Plus I know what I am like in interviews. Oh God!

Anyway I was really touched by that woman's words and sincerity. There was one other officer there I really wanted to say goodbye to but I didn't notice him around during the week. I think I would have cried if I had gotten the chance, but that's okay. He talked to me properly and always asked how I was. And more often than not waited for a reply. I cried a few times last night. The first time was a little after that woman wished me luck. Not long after that I came up with an idea to say goodbye to all of them. I decided to leave them a message on one of the whiteboards.

It said a few things I wanted to say and I hope it made it for most people to have a look at. Go out with a laugh!

My Facebook status from yesterday is My Last Day of Work (Ever?)!!! Not that many responses. Then today I put up this photo. While replying to a friend's latest status she replied, "It has been ages, how are you?" I'm sorry! What the hell is Facebook for? LOL. Omigod. Rather than resort to my usual negative self I replied, Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

What’s Going On?

To be honest I have no idea. I know I haven’t written in ages but here it is. In about March we found out that Spotless had lost the contract with the City of Melbourne. We’d have jobs until the end of June. It was a total surprise as we’ve been getting the best results since starting that contract and they’ve been really happy with us. But as most of these things work it was all about money.

The people who won the contract seriously undercut Spotless and the others. In the bits and pieces that have come to light since that fateful day in March it turns out that when this new mob put in a bid they hadn’t really thought about it. They’ve got a lot to sort out before July. They’ve recently started the offers for transfers, or rather keeping Spotless cleaners on if they’re interested. I can’t tell if we are. I know I’m not. I just can’t stand being there any more. So I am trying to get a transfer within Spotless.

Although we heard from our supervisors that we had lost the contract it took Spotless a while to send us official letters in the mail; a letter that also included a list of current vacancies. The location with the most jobs going is at The Alfred. There were two reasons I initially didn’t want to consider going there. One my sister works there in a much, much, MUCH better role than a mere fucking cleaner. And two it’s a hospital and I didn’t fancy the type of work that I’d have to do. The letter lacked accurate job descriptions. When I first read it on the way home from work I almost cried because I imagined that I was working there. I was so overwhelmed with a sense of how ironic, well maybe not ironic, but cruel, it would be to end up working where my sister does but doing such a shitty, low paid job while she’s doing what she wants to do and making really good money. (Fuck she’s moving out next weekend. She’s so lucky). I put aside the letter for a couple of weeks. But then I thought, well there’s an email address why not find out about the kind of cleaning they actually want. And with so many shifts available I did highlight one I wouldn’t mind working. She got back to me and things seemed good. I was told it wouldn’t be specialist cleaning, more of what I have done in the past. That was good news. Next week before I knew it I had an interview with her. That went well and then I got a text the next day saying come into The Alfred for an induction. Which as it turned out was just a second interview.

It was at the second interview that things got bent out of shape. She had to apologise to me from the start, saying the shift I had expressed an interest in was in fact specialist cleaning. Basically disinfecting rooms after infectious patients had used them and new ones had to move in. My first reaction was, “My dad is going to freak out!” I told them – there was a second person there, another David can you believe it!? – I would have to consider it. I was a bit iffy about exposing myself to those germs but it is such an important job and they’re telling me it’s a chance to lift my skills and how they train you etcetera, etcetera. So they sounded like they thought I could do it. I suppose that's good. And yet it always comes back to, cleaning. And the horrible feeling that this is going to be my career.

Of course it would be up to me in the end but I did feel like I needed to talk to my family and friends first. They’re divided. My sister made a good point that I’m in a hospital anyway, I’m at risk to germ exposure. And she made a point I didn’t even think of, how I sneeze a lot with the chemicals I work with now. How will I handle the really strong stuff? Well you HAVE to wear protective clothing from head to toe. (I get to hide that way, a plus. Another being that you work on your own or with one other cleaner and the areas you clean are closed off to everyone so I really would be hiding. I just hate people seeing me clean. I know people don’t really pay attention to you, maybe throw a pitying glance or patronising “Hello” but you know they don’t care. Agh! Rant, rant, rant. It was something I found really hard to adjust to when I started working at the Town Hall. People being around, yuck. Besides they get in the way).

Fuck I don’t know what to do. It would be nice to know where I stand though. I've checked my emails a few times today, just Facebook messages. I can't decide if it's too soon to email again about the job. I might get too desperate if I do, say something embarrassing. It's been weird. I get updates from my current boss and only the occasional email from this other woman. I'll wait and see if I hear anything when I get into work today. *Sigh*

Getting Wiggy With It

It was my sister's Michael Jackson themed birthday party on the weekend. I had a good time though I was a bit worried about the wig either not sitting right or lasting the night. I still don't think it sat right or looked like it did on the cover but people seemed to get it. I showed this guy on chat a photo of it and he said, "You're hair looks different." LOL! Of course it does it's a wig! It was an extreme close up so I don't blame him really. He loved the red dress. A lot of people did. Not enough single straight men at the party but I still got a few compliments.

I remember a stunned look on my mum's best friend's face. (Pity I didn't get to talk to her that night). And her partner told me red was my colour. He should know he teaches design at RMIT. (Not the site I once cleaned at. No I did the boring accounting floor and other business stuff).

Not everyone dressed up but people did come up with some amazing efforts (as you can see below). Very gratifying for my sister. My mum "stole" the green walk sign. Her excuse is she is the mother of the birthday girl! But the guy as the Moon "stole" my sister's glittery jacket so it all works out.


I think I have the anti-climax/Monday blues. Today is the first day I could have gone back to work on the script but I just feel lonely and bored and rather shitty about having to go back to work this Monday.

I can't help feeling like no one gives a shit about me. I'm thinking family, especially after the party, and then reading Facebook comments. Makes me thinking running off with Terry might not be so bad. Start my own family with him and forget about them.

I think I just don't feel important enough within my family. I know I'm projecting my own sense of worthlessness of being a cleaner and still at home. No relationship etc., etc...!

Of course it was Molly's night too and I'm happy she did have a great time after getting anxious over so many things in the lead up to the night. But I didn't seem to connect among the cousins as I saw them do. I had a group of friends at the party so I wasn't shy or lonely as I can get at some parties, however I still had these moments of feeling like the odd one out. The Outsider. I'm still "hot" though. Groan. Oh my God!

Sconesense

Was yesterday International Scone Day? There were scone crumbs everywhere like a scone and jam bomb went off in the mezzanine. Jam and carpet is not a fun mix. I imagined middle aged men and women chatting and eating but thinking they could do it at the some time and thus spraying crumbly pieces of cake all over the place. (Do I need to teach you to use a plate? Or even chew with your mouth closed?) When I got to the main kitchen area on level one it was the same thing: scones, jam and tubs of cream left out to go bad. For once in their lives the workers of level one weren’t as bad as whoever was in the mezzanine for their Devonshire tea.

I’m a bit shitty about work last night. We were asked to do some extra work over the next two nights and because I actually did it I ended really late. I asked for overtime and they didn’t give me a straight answer. I asked via text. I already had a headache before starting work and was rather tense and upset by that stage. Thus I decided I wouldn’t read the reply until this morning. As I said the answer wasn’t straight. A text from the boss and one from the supervisor saying stop doing the extra work and finish your regular tasks NOW! So I assume I won’t be getting any. Fucking typical!

They asked so they can look good and pass the extra critical inspections. (Critical in that they will be more through. It’s not until the end of March that they will decide if we’re keeping the contract. The bosses sound more confident that they will. I just feel like it’s getting ridiculous. They keep pushing the date back so in theory we’re all stressed out and supposedly giving 110% everyday). Why should my hard work reward them and not me? Like I tell myself I don’t give a shit if they lose the contract but then I think well I do for my fellow cleaners. But management and the company can go...you know, themselves.

I’ll drink a cup of tea to that! Though I can’t say I’ve ever fancied scones. Not big on jam but there’s not much flavour without it.