Clit Tease

Well I am. I mean I sent a message to skullcracker just over a week ago and she replied so we had a bit of a chat. I know her name now and she knows mine. That’s about as far as I got. D’oh! She was keen to invite me over to her place again, after work one night. My first reaction was how do I explain my absence to my family? That’s always a bit of a problem. It got me down a bit. I told her I was a loser.

Why do I put myself through this pain? I can’t help it; I still feel embarrassed about my home situation/life in general. I’m too old to be at home, not that I want to be. But I’m such a loser I can’t afford to move out. I don’t want her knowing these things about me. But as far as I can see it is only sex so why am I so uptight about it?

Well, as always, the sex itself makes me nervous. I’m still keen to suck and lick tits, but anything else? Kissing I’m sure is fine. A nice wet, warm mouth, is a nice wet warm mouth. (Do boobs get in the way when it’s girl on girl? Hee hee, just being silly). Okay I am a little nervous about oral. I’m sure I COULD do it but just that first time has got me scared. I can’t remember what I thought the first time I sucked a cock but I don’t think I hesitated. It seemed so natural and easy. (When I was little my dad was always telling me to stop putting things in my mouth, now I know why. It’s dirty; yes it is!)

I sent skully another offline. Not inviting us to do anything, just asking how her search for a woman is going, whilst wondering if she’d tell me about it when she’s accomplished it. I’m sure she will find someone. Not that I have anything to base that on. No reply so far but that’s probably good. I sent her a good luck/goodbye one this morning.

Looks like I'll have to stick to reading about girls being together rather than trying it for myself. That's a weird book in the photo. It's edited to just have the sex scenes. I'm getting another one soon called Wet: True Lesbian Sex Stories edited by the same woman. It could be interesting. Bit of a how-to guide if I ever get that far.

I Missed A Girl

Yesterday when I was wasting time chatting I met skullcrackerXX. That sounded like a very masculine name to me, and frankly I’m used to guys requesting a chat (among other things), so I was surprised to learn she was a Melbourne F too! The next question was, “Are you bi?” To which I said not so far. I believe most people, if not everyone, is/are. I know they say it’s easier for girls to experiment and “play” with each other. I haven’t, which I told her. She told me she’s kissed lots of girls but so far that’s it. I’m not against the idea. I think when it comes to love and lust that limiting yourself to the opposite sex is silly.

When I was in high school in the 90s they had re-runs of The Flying Nun on TV and I do believe I had quite the crush on Miss Sally Field. She was so cute! LOL. I can’t remember if I actually wanted to kiss her, let alone sleep with her, but there was some sort of attraction going on. More recently though I had a strong urge to be with Stephanie March when she played a lawyer on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I was a bit sad when she had to go into witness protection and basically left the show. Then all of sudden she’s on 30 Rock playing a lesbian. And still looking fucking hot! Liz Lemon didn’t want to go there but I think I would have.

[Oh I want to be Liz Lemon and run my own TV show. Writing about that is what I had hoped this blog would be about. Now it’s thwarted work ambitions and lacklustre sex. I was hoping the sex would increase my readership but I don’t think it has or will].

I’m not usually into blondes but I think Ms March is beautiful. And looking at her again I remember now she also looks like a female version of a boy in my class from primary school. They are both from Texas. It must be something in the oil.

What was I saying? Ah yes the mysterious skullcracker. She asked me if I wanted to share some photos. I told her I was too ugly and she said “I’m not that good looking though.” I put up my photo but I never did see hers. I assume she saw mine. She asked me again if I was bi after that. I said, “I've never been with a girl, but sure, I'd be curious to try it. I think most people are a little bi.” Then I asked her if she was and she said yes. But she didn’t put up her photo and things went quiet.

I got an offline from her next time I signed in. We chatted a little later that night. She asked what I was doing and I said I should be sleeping. She said she should be too then said, “let’s sleep together.” I raised an eyebrow and she laughed. She suggested we meet and see how we feel, even inviting me to spend the night at her place this Saturday. It’s terrible but I thought I’ve got work and how do I explain it to my mum? And with work I didn’t want to tell her I was a cleaner. So I chickened out.

I don’t want to sound shallow but I don’t know what she looks like either. Not that being good looking is a prerequisite for the men I’ve been with. In fact, so-so looking fat bastards are a plus. Makes me feel smaller and more feminine by comparison. However I think women, good looking ones especially, are different. I’d be much more intimidated by female looks.

I came close to meeting another girl from chat a few years ago and if the photo in her profile was really her then she was way too good for me! Thin and blonde. Yikes. I don’t know why she wanted to meet me. I was fatter then too. She had a spa and offered me a dip. She was in a share house so I was a bit hesitant about others being around. I finally agreed to meet her but she never showed up! I was nervous as hell and stranded at Essendon station. Tragic. I couldn’t get her on the phone, it kept cutting out. I found out later her car broke down and her phone wasn’t working properly. Oh well. I don’t know if I could have done it but it would have been interesting to see what happened. I lost touch with her.

I sent skullcracker a few messages earlier today and wondered if I’d hear from her again. (After all I had chickened out before. She thought I wasn’t interested, but to be honest I just wasn’t sure. I haven’t thought about being with a woman in a long time).

I did. Now that I’m home I have this: hey.. well i still dont mind tryin with u. if ur really curious we can just keep it to ourself… we can try it sometime. I am a bit surprised but pleased to hear from her again. I am getting curious.

I shouldn’t really make assumptions but I think I’d be good at oral on a girl; however I admit I am merely transferring my skills with cocks. But a familiarity with the anatomy may also be to my advantage. (Few men have actually found my clit: rubbing around in blind hope. And even when they do, they tend to lose it again. Rather careless of them).

I'm more curious about sucking tits. Even though having mine sucked doesn't give me much sensation - and yes that does shit me no end! I'd still like to do it to someone else. Lucky for me I do feel something when they are being licked. A nice hot wet tongue. Mmm, bliss! It does feel very naughty, wet and tingly. I tell them that but they still suck. I suppose it's more natural.