Office Romance

I don’t know. There really should be a question mark after that heading. There was a man and woman at work tonight that seemed awfully friendly towards each other. Like if they were a couple that would be okay, but if they were just colleagues some eyebrows may be raised. They were alone at the time, (well obviously I don’t count).

I could hear her laughing a lot but she may have been on the phone. They did seem to get silly together later on. God it’s none of my business but I couldn’t help thinking about it and affairs in general. I found it akin to walking in on your parents. I don’t want to know! I never have walked in on my parents during sex – thank God! I did remember one thing from my childhood though. When we were living in PNG I was in their bedroom and I found scrunched up and used toilet paper and thought what’s that about? It was quite a few years before I worked that out but even with the distance of time I still don’t want to know! I could block some of their playfulness out having the vacuum cleaner on. But I still found it kind of uncomfortable.

I’ve been having problems with my vacuum cleaner lately. It’ll just stop. I have to bend over further than normal and shake the pack on my back. So I’m guessing it could be wiring. Help me Garry! I was thinking about you tonight too. I wonder why? *smirk* Wondering if you could do some maintenance for me after hours. I could show you my storeroom and anything else you might like to see.

No I wouldn’t want to do it at work. A couple of people I’ve met in chat have asked if I have before or suggested they just pop over to “visit” me. There are several reasons why that wouldn’t work. First I work on a floor that is never closed. The parking inspectors work on shifts all day as far as I can tell. Second I don’t see where we could do it. My storeroom is quite small and I have no desire to do it in a disabled toilet or even a regular toilet. No desire is the key. I hate my job and I don’t imagine getting in the mood there. Last of all I’m busy the whole time often working overtime. (Without pay thank you very much!)

I don’t see why there wouldn’t be office romances, illicit or otherwise, going on. I just never thought about it before; my perspective on my workplace has expanded again. Although to be honest I don’t want to think about it either. It gets me to thinking about affairs again and more guiltily my role in them. Needless to say I am very undecided on that topic.

We’re Still Friends

Yes I am happy to report that my aforementioned dalliance with Mr Married hasn’t resulted in a termination of friendship; which is great since I am a better friend than lover/sex puppet/fuck buddy, or what have you. I’m loyal and down right adorable. LMAO*. And that’s just gonna have to be good enough.

*AN ASIDE: Don’t you wish it was that easy? To literally laugh your arse off. I’ve seen those stories about laughter helping you lose weight but I don’t laugh out loud that often and I’d have to laugh 24/7 to make a noticeable impact. Nah. I’ll just have to stick to cleaning. Best workout I’ve ever had, in terms of results. Pretty damn boring and devastating in every other respect.

We’ve chatted and text’d a little since then. I was really nervous to get in touch. I thought I had ruined everything by having sex with him. It’s not that I don’t want to – my body tells me I do by getting obscenely wet and I am an excellent cocksucker - but I have issues which mean I’ve never really enjoyed it, (intercourse proper). Issues I bottle up for the most part, out of extreme guilt and embarrassment, so of course I make things harder for myself. And that’s partly why after my last encounter I’ve decided to give sex up.

When I talk about my encounters, usually online and occasionally on the phone, men always tell me it would be different with them. They’d make sure I cum, treat me right, etc., etc., that in the past the men I’ve been with have been selfish and only concerned with their orgasm(s). In all honesty most men have been good to me and tried to “pleasure” me. I’m just a shy, stubborn bitch who can’t relax. When I get close, and that’s only when someone goes down on me, I will push back literally. Push their head away. I can’t handle it. Good kissing – and believe me there are plenty of bad kissers out there which I just don’t understand – oral and 69 are the closest I get to relaxing. But truth be told I will hold back when it gets more intense and I start to lose it more. Maybe I am just a control freak and can’t let go. I know that the intimacy of an orgasm does freak me out because I really don’t know these men that well, some more than others obviously. This last encounter makes me sad because I like him so much and I still couldn’t be physically intimate with him. Not fully. God I couldn’t even look at him during it. That is soooooooooooooooooo bad, not to mention pathetic.

Yeah Amy it's obvious: Just quit. Work on that writing career instead.