Frankly My Dear

He didn’t say anything but I was caught on Facebook and possibly Hotmail at work today by one of the SMEs. (Yeah I can’t remember what that stands for except Expert). Just one of the go-to people before you bug the Team Leader. The TL is called Rhett Butler. Would you believe? I knew it was a famous name from pop culture but I had to look it up to remind myself. Gone with the bloody Wind. Frankly my dear I do give a damn! Apparently he’s really laid back. (A team mate and gossip buddy of mine used to work with him. Judging from a Facebook photo they’re not bad friends). Tall and cute in a dressed casual sort of way. He likes his football though. L And frankly my dear I DON’T give a damn about that!

It’s not that we’re banned from going on to these sites, or the net in general, it’s just that as newcomers we have to earn the right. To the best of my ability I did earn it the first day but never again since. I do it anyway as I get bored and frustrated and as in the previous post I don’t ask for help so when I can’t get on with my work I need something to do!

(Some one to do at the moment would be all right at well. It’s been a while. The last time I was touched by a man was a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye and good luck. This was the night before we started this job for real. Golly; that wet warmth was nice, however brief. By the way he’s the flirtiest and only married person in our group. He has this habit of winking when he talks to you. I’m going to stereotype him and say it’s part of his South American and Latin charm. That is to suggest it is his way rather than any particular interest in me. I thought he had blue eyes but today when the sunlight caught them I discovered they glowed like honey).

I'm too scared to talk to Rhett. In fact it took me ages to talk to Miguel the aforementioned SME and the guy Q Cing my work, that's Quality Checking people. He's checked one and it needs a rework. I still have my doubts any of this is every going to make sense.

It’s weird though, being caught, because it’s broken the ice. I went up to ask a question and it felt all right. Maybe it was because he came around and offered the help. I don’t know, but as long as that mental block of mine is gone who cares! Sing Hallelujah! The more I over hear the new people the more I see how we’re all in the same boat. That only gives me comfort when I'm still thinking rationally but once I get in a state I just think, "They're going to get rid of me they're going to get rid of me!"

I actually miss cleaning - bite my tongue! In that at least I knew what I was doing and could get on with it. I don't know why I can't ask. I know it's all right to and perfectly understandable but something is blocking me. I don't really want to go over this in therapy again. Thinking inward repression my have to be my damaging route for the time being. I've told Terry that I don't want to talk about work with him any more. He got pissed off with me the night before when I rang him and repeatedly said I can't do it. I've been wondering today if anxiety pills would help at all. I could ask the therapist that. I do like this therapist but I'm starting to feel like my life is crap. The whole process can get you down. It can make me dwell on bad things.

“Fantastic!”

Less then a week to go now and I might actually get what I really, really, want for my birthday, a new job! I got a call for an interview for a data entry job I don't really remember applying for. That was last Friday. I just missed the call on my mobile and there was a message about a data entry job and to call back if I was still interested. Well easier said than done as the phone number came up as blocked. Luckily for me they also said who the recruiting company was. On a bit of a whim I went online to look the company up and then sent off an email explaining how I missed the call. I really did not expect them to get back to me as you can probably tell:

Sorry to disturb but I got a miss call from a private number then a text message from Garth(?) about an advertising data specialist role. I've been applying to a few places and can't honestly remember this job also I'm not sure if the call was for me or someone called "Benny." I use Seek but can't work out which job it might have been. It's probably all a mistake, sorry. I was seconds from picking up the phone it's just got me curious now.

Lo and behold they did ring back. I admitted again that I didn’t really recall this job having applied to a few recently. I imagine when I did apply I didn’t expect to hear from them. I had a nice little chat with the woman who’d called earlier and she said if I had access to a computer and the Net I could go on to the next stage which was a couple of tests. Speed/Accuracy and a general computer knowledge quiz. It took me a while to get the link and account set up and once I did I found out I needed a printer. Bugger! I sent another email but it was already 5 o’clock by then. I told Terry my dilemma and he offered to pay me back if I went out and bought one over the weekend. Seemed a bit much for me, (she says typing on the new laptop he bought me. I told him he shouldn’t have bought that as well!) My dad ended up buying me a printer/scanner. (Bloody hooked to the scanner! But I’m straying). When I finally took the test on Sunday afternoon I was SURE I had been too slow. So I was down and depressed and feeling quite shitty about going into work on Monday. (I've been feeling shitty and depressed lately anyway. That might sound normal but I mean really down).

I don’t know why it is but I’ve heard back from most of the people I’ve applied to and I only just started looking for work again. Last Friday I had an interview for a casual cleaning job with Spotless, (again!) It’s at a busy city train station and I opted for day shift availability. I don’t know what possessed me. Those are the exact, public, conditions I hate when I’m cleaning. Another whim slash desperation. Besides fucking up and getting there a bit late I think my interview went well. After all I sure know what I’m talking about! I might be hearing from them tomorrow. I assume only if I got the job. I’m okay if I don’t. I want to get away from cleaning! Remember?

Yesterday I went into Red Bee Media for some different tests. They do captioning work, in real time, so you can imagine you'd have to be amazingly fast at typing. I applied for a job here a couple or more years ago and I know what the tests are like. First proofreading of a news story that had been transcribed then a timed test writing captions for a documentary and a drama. I really doubt I’m any faster or better at spelling this time round but I thought I might as well go in.

Anyway I got the call for the data entry interview on the tram ride into Red Bee so that perked me up enormously. I still have my doubts about Red Bee and don't know why I agreed to come in. (Something to do of a Wednesday morning perhaps?) I'm not being negative, rather realistic. I'm not that fast a typist and a pretty shit speller.

Speaking of speed I still can't believe I passed the data entry tests. She said my results were "Fantastic." I'll show up Friday morning only to be told it was all a mistake. They're SO sorry! Can we get you a coffee at least? Okay, that's being negative!!!

Later that Wednesday....

Well the Red Bee test was rather fun. (And a wee bit familiar). Still not so sure about my speed or spelling but I did enjoy it. Nice Scottish man there and the people in the background sounded nice. He said he'd let me know how I went either way. And I remember they did last time I went in. I remember getting the call because it was during my lunch time when I was at Foxtel doing data entry and customer service. That was a disaster! For now though I'm happy. It’s amazing but that phone call for tomorrow (Friday’s) interview changed my whole world; turned me completely around. Of course I still might not get the job but to my mind I’ve soared across the hardest hurdle. We shall see! And I’ll enjoy this good feeling as long as I can.

Oh You're Kidding Me!

Which isn't quite the reaction I had when I went to check my email this morning but I don't want to set up a blog that gives potential viewers the misleading impression that this site is raunchier than it actually is. LOL @ "viewers."

As we all know I need a new job and how! Since getting back to my current one after the Christmas New Years break I've just been getting on with it. Getting some overtime which is good - oh wait, didn't I say it was crap in my last post? Well yes it is but the money I make when I do my normal hours is even worse. So, so pitiful. Anyway it's almost been a month back and as I said previously I've been getting on with it.

I was talking to Terry about it and he asked if I had been looking for a new job. (No of course not silly man!) I think that was on Monday. The next day as I was wasting time online I decided I would check out the job ads on Seek. My preferred place to look. I found one for a job I applied to a couple of years ago. It was doing subtitles for TV and Radio. Would have been great. At the time I got a call to come in to be tested and failed miserably. I was told the standard was unusually high for that group of applicants. Unless he was a good actor he did seem sincere.

Even though they were advertising for a part time position I was interested. Fuck anything to get away from cleaning. Then I read the ad more closely and they had something about previous applicants need not apply. I figured even after the time that's past that includes me. Also when I clicked on the link to have another look at it the ad had been removed. I stuck around to see what else there was. And to my surprise I found one and decided I'd apply. Entry level admin. Not a dream come true but still it's got to be better than working at 3 in the morning. And in all honesty I know entry level is where I am at. (So embarrassing).

You know the expression, too good to be true? Well! the email that had be flummoxed this morning was from Seek. They wanted to let me know that the ad had been removed. They told me: We have identified a job ad on seek.com.au which was placed by a fraudulent advertiser who used the company name "Anja's Studio" - the title of the position advertised was "Office Administrator”

As our logfiles show that you applied for this job, we wanted to warn you that this ad was placed in contravention of SEEK's advertiser terms and conditions. We have concerns about the legitimacy of this advertiser -- and any other which asks you to send your bank account details.

We strongly recommend that you NEVER supply bank account details to a prospective employer.

If you have supplied your bank account or credit card details, please contact your financial institution immediately and ask for their advice. If you feel you may have been the victim of fraud contact the Australian Federal Police.

I have to say the ad didn't read as dodgy. Lucky for me it didn't get to a serious stage but I did recieve a reply from Anja that went to my junk mail. Bravo Hotmail! Just reading that email I knew it was bullshit. Good on Seek though.

When I was talking to Terry yesterday I said I don't know if there is anything I want to do and that perhaps cleaning is for me. However depressing as well as financially inadequate that may be. A decent wage would make a huge difference. So would more hours even though that would be exhausting and mind numbing to boot. (I can't stand the idea of being a cleaner during the day. I'd find it too painful. I always imagine it would be in a shopping mall. All those people pretending not to see you. Ugh! Oh please, no). I looked through all these jobs that I can't do for one reason or another. I know I'm not stupid but I kind of feel like it. There was nothing there I really wanted either.

I Don't Believe It

I went into Seek today, just to check out what was happening on the job market. Top, as in most recent, cleaning job was my old job! I don't know if I should apply. It's actually a Casual role and I see the hours have been cut back (minus half an hour). I already knew they were doing that. Oh fuck! I just had a thought, what if that message I left on the whiteboard comes back to haunt me? Well, I doubt I'd get my exact floors again. God I hope not. Why am I even considering this?!?

I actually applied for another cleaning job on Monday and got a rejection. Which is total bullshit because I was a certificate above what they were looking for but of course they tell me I'm not suitable. I DON'T want to be a Cleaner but I know I can do it.

This morning I sent a text message to my very first cleaning boss. She was from Spotless but I know that site and contract at RMIT has been lost. I heard she was still working there but I assume that her mobile was a Spotless one so I suspect that was a futile exercise. I plan to get up early and try to catch her on her way out. I've done that before. The hours were hideous but there were more of them and it had a much better penalty rate so, yes better money than my last cleaning job. The vain side of me also likes the fact that I lost a hell of a lot of weight doing that job and I know I've put on weight steadily since the last Christmas holiday period. None of the men seem to care but I do. And women know, because they no longer ask if I've lost weight! Bitches!!! LOL.


I don't know what I want to do. I mean writing would be great but what? How would that work? So how about admin? Yeah I try, and rather junior positions at that, but still no joy.

Looking at that photo I'd rather make a mess in an office than clean it up. I'm a bit reluctant to go back to school because I've done a short Tafe course before and it didn't help at all. The local Tafe is just down the road from Terry's place and they do offer admin classes but after a week here I'm not sure I could make this a permanent thing. (I'm a bit scared of meeting the family tomorrow. We're having a barbecue!)

I obviously have to do something. But I don't know what. I look at cleaning as something to do in the meantime and a bit of dosh for a holiday or something. But then I know when I was cleaning I wasn't job hunting as hard. God! Maybe I am just a cleaner, as depressing as that sounds. A lot of people do jobs they don't want to. Although I don't have enough hours to make the money to have much of a life outside of work. Fucky, fuck, fuck!

You see I'm still not sure about applying for the Transfield job. I still have their card in my wallet so I could be rather direct in my application. Should I be a bit more ambitious and try for something better than cleaning? I do apply for other things but....well you know. Money or nothing? I haven't gone on the dole and if I could get a job soonish (and to my mind that means cleaning) then I can avoid the dole altogether. I'd be happy about that but miserable about my job. Nothing changes.

So Much For That!

It was a month ago from my last post that I found - via a response to an email I'd sent whilst desperate for information - that there was no work for me at The Alfred. In Ms Gooden's words: At this stage, I don’t have anything suitable. Given your initial reluctance to take the isolation cleaning role, we had to allocate it to another candidate quickly. I still have your details so if something else comes up that is similar to what you were looking for, then I will be in contact. (Yeah right Helen!)

Now the thing that pisses me off most about this is that in the meantime I was getting messages from my boss and her that there WOULD be something for me. She knew there wasn't an isolation/specialist position right away. She should have told me that. I wrote to her: That's very disappointing and contradictory news. I don't think it was unreasonable of me to ask to think about it and have a chance to discuss this specialist cleaning role with my family and friends. I checked my email and I did get back to you the next day. You had told me originally it was a cleaning shift like the work I do currently, then at the second interview sprung it on me that it wasn't. I have to say I'm a bit surprised and rather upset by the news that there's nothing for me. I felt strung along and ultimately ripped off. I'm still furious there is nothing for me within Spotless. I worked SO hard for them.

Oh and yes you're right she never got back to me after that email. Terry wanted to call her and tell her off. He still wanted to last night when I started to cry and tell him about my last day. The shitty thing for me is a I found out the bad news a few days before my birthday party. I told people I wouldn't let it ruin my night and I'd try not think about it but you know me. No chance! And actually it was pretty much the only news I had to tell some people. LOL. (She can laugh now. But it won't last).

People have told me that's bullshit. (People at work have implied that too). Pretty much everyone is unhappy with that woman and Spotless in general. Most of the bosses and supervisors are out of a job now. Seems like all the other cleaners have something to tide them over. I don't know what I'm going to do. Even seeing it coming I don't think I could prepare myself for the tears I shed last night. I have applied for some jobs but no response so far.

I happened to mention to one of the Parking and Traffic Officers that it was my last week, that we had lost the contract and I'd be finishing on Wednesday. Word must have got around because one of the lady officers that's always been nice to me said goodbye and that I'd be missed. I know, I know, it's a crappy job and I've bitched about people there before but it was all I had. Now I have nothing and it's really fucking scary. People tell me how nice and smart I am and that I'll get something else. Well I have to but I don't believe it will be that soon. It was hard enough and long enough waiting for my previous cleaning jobs. Plus I know what I am like in interviews. Oh God!

Anyway I was really touched by that woman's words and sincerity. There was one other officer there I really wanted to say goodbye to but I didn't notice him around during the week. I think I would have cried if I had gotten the chance, but that's okay. He talked to me properly and always asked how I was. And more often than not waited for a reply. I cried a few times last night. The first time was a little after that woman wished me luck. Not long after that I came up with an idea to say goodbye to all of them. I decided to leave them a message on one of the whiteboards.

It said a few things I wanted to say and I hope it made it for most people to have a look at. Go out with a laugh!

My Facebook status from yesterday is My Last Day of Work (Ever?)!!! Not that many responses. Then today I put up this photo. While replying to a friend's latest status she replied, "It has been ages, how are you?" I'm sorry! What the hell is Facebook for? LOL. Omigod. Rather than resort to my usual negative self I replied, Today is the first day of the rest of my life!

What’s Going On?

To be honest I have no idea. I know I haven’t written in ages but here it is. In about March we found out that Spotless had lost the contract with the City of Melbourne. We’d have jobs until the end of June. It was a total surprise as we’ve been getting the best results since starting that contract and they’ve been really happy with us. But as most of these things work it was all about money.

The people who won the contract seriously undercut Spotless and the others. In the bits and pieces that have come to light since that fateful day in March it turns out that when this new mob put in a bid they hadn’t really thought about it. They’ve got a lot to sort out before July. They’ve recently started the offers for transfers, or rather keeping Spotless cleaners on if they’re interested. I can’t tell if we are. I know I’m not. I just can’t stand being there any more. So I am trying to get a transfer within Spotless.

Although we heard from our supervisors that we had lost the contract it took Spotless a while to send us official letters in the mail; a letter that also included a list of current vacancies. The location with the most jobs going is at The Alfred. There were two reasons I initially didn’t want to consider going there. One my sister works there in a much, much, MUCH better role than a mere fucking cleaner. And two it’s a hospital and I didn’t fancy the type of work that I’d have to do. The letter lacked accurate job descriptions. When I first read it on the way home from work I almost cried because I imagined that I was working there. I was so overwhelmed with a sense of how ironic, well maybe not ironic, but cruel, it would be to end up working where my sister does but doing such a shitty, low paid job while she’s doing what she wants to do and making really good money. (Fuck she’s moving out next weekend. She’s so lucky). I put aside the letter for a couple of weeks. But then I thought, well there’s an email address why not find out about the kind of cleaning they actually want. And with so many shifts available I did highlight one I wouldn’t mind working. She got back to me and things seemed good. I was told it wouldn’t be specialist cleaning, more of what I have done in the past. That was good news. Next week before I knew it I had an interview with her. That went well and then I got a text the next day saying come into The Alfred for an induction. Which as it turned out was just a second interview.

It was at the second interview that things got bent out of shape. She had to apologise to me from the start, saying the shift I had expressed an interest in was in fact specialist cleaning. Basically disinfecting rooms after infectious patients had used them and new ones had to move in. My first reaction was, “My dad is going to freak out!” I told them – there was a second person there, another David can you believe it!? – I would have to consider it. I was a bit iffy about exposing myself to those germs but it is such an important job and they’re telling me it’s a chance to lift my skills and how they train you etcetera, etcetera. So they sounded like they thought I could do it. I suppose that's good. And yet it always comes back to, cleaning. And the horrible feeling that this is going to be my career.

Of course it would be up to me in the end but I did feel like I needed to talk to my family and friends first. They’re divided. My sister made a good point that I’m in a hospital anyway, I’m at risk to germ exposure. And she made a point I didn’t even think of, how I sneeze a lot with the chemicals I work with now. How will I handle the really strong stuff? Well you HAVE to wear protective clothing from head to toe. (I get to hide that way, a plus. Another being that you work on your own or with one other cleaner and the areas you clean are closed off to everyone so I really would be hiding. I just hate people seeing me clean. I know people don’t really pay attention to you, maybe throw a pitying glance or patronising “Hello” but you know they don’t care. Agh! Rant, rant, rant. It was something I found really hard to adjust to when I started working at the Town Hall. People being around, yuck. Besides they get in the way).

Fuck I don’t know what to do. It would be nice to know where I stand though. I've checked my emails a few times today, just Facebook messages. I can't decide if it's too soon to email again about the job. I might get too desperate if I do, say something embarrassing. It's been weird. I get updates from my current boss and only the occasional email from this other woman. I'll wait and see if I hear anything when I get into work today. *Sigh*

Sconesense

Was yesterday International Scone Day? There were scone crumbs everywhere like a scone and jam bomb went off in the mezzanine. Jam and carpet is not a fun mix. I imagined middle aged men and women chatting and eating but thinking they could do it at the some time and thus spraying crumbly pieces of cake all over the place. (Do I need to teach you to use a plate? Or even chew with your mouth closed?) When I got to the main kitchen area on level one it was the same thing: scones, jam and tubs of cream left out to go bad. For once in their lives the workers of level one weren’t as bad as whoever was in the mezzanine for their Devonshire tea.

I’m a bit shitty about work last night. We were asked to do some extra work over the next two nights and because I actually did it I ended really late. I asked for overtime and they didn’t give me a straight answer. I asked via text. I already had a headache before starting work and was rather tense and upset by that stage. Thus I decided I wouldn’t read the reply until this morning. As I said the answer wasn’t straight. A text from the boss and one from the supervisor saying stop doing the extra work and finish your regular tasks NOW! So I assume I won’t be getting any. Fucking typical!

They asked so they can look good and pass the extra critical inspections. (Critical in that they will be more through. It’s not until the end of March that they will decide if we’re keeping the contract. The bosses sound more confident that they will. I just feel like it’s getting ridiculous. They keep pushing the date back so in theory we’re all stressed out and supposedly giving 110% everyday). Why should my hard work reward them and not me? Like I tell myself I don’t give a shit if they lose the contract but then I think well I do for my fellow cleaners. But management and the company can go...you know, themselves.

I’ll drink a cup of tea to that! Though I can’t say I’ve ever fancied scones. Not big on jam but there’s not much flavour without it.