Should I Take That As A Compliment?

I had a job interview on Saturday morning for a fast food chicken bugger joint. They’re opening a new store in Highpoint. So basically it’s starting out from scratch. I was asked what I prefer to do, work out the front or out the back doing food prep. I said I love cooking so I wouldn’t mind working out the back. I think that was good that I like cooking but then he said, “We like to put the pretty ones out the front.” Now I already know that girls tend to be put out the front of fast food places. When he said it though I was like, “Oh?” I think that OH may have even been expressed on my face at the time. A nice addition the pink I could feel on my nervous, flushed cheeks. Was that a compliment? Was he flirting with me? (Fucked if I know!) Although a good looking (young) man, I had already noticed his thick and prominent wedding ring. I was thinking, “Well what does that mean?!” And, “Surely that’s up to you/the customer (if I’m pretty or not).” It feels like it, but I just don’t know. I asked the Old Man about it and he thinks he probably was flirting. Okay that’s nice – as I said he was good looking so if it was an option I would go there. However what I really liked is he made me feel smart. Well smart enough to cope with that job at least. When he asked if I had worked in the industry before I said no but he didn’t think that was a problem. There’s going to be training and he said I could handle it. (Was that all he wanted me to handle? ENOUGH! God Amy get out a bit more would ya!) There are a lot of applicants so if I don’t hear by Friday then I didn’t get it. As far as interviews go it felt all right. But what the hell does that mean?

I went to the dentist today for the first time in over ten years. My mum had been recently so I was prepared for a long and expensive visit. She also told me not to get upset if they lectured me for not having a check-up in years. I got there early and once the receptionist was off the phone I was being lead into the surgery. I was shocked. Did you know you can now watch TV while you’re being scrapped and drilled? The sunglasses where interesting too. Not that I ever remembered being blinded by the overhead light before, OH&S at work here? If that’s the case I don’t think the TV was a very good idea. I could see the nurse glancing at it regularly. So, after all that I doubt I was in there for more than ten minutes. The doctor didn’t tell me off and I paid $45 less than my mother had to and I was expecting to. She was home when I got back and I told her. She was mightily pissed off about the money and rang them. It turns out my teeth didn’t need much cleaning and where healthy. It would have been nice of the dentist to tell me that at the time. At the end all he said was, “They seem good.” I was told to rinse and that was it. I was like huh? So once again I wondered, was that a compliment? I know for sure now because they explained the fee discrepancy to my mum.

One last thing, about two weeks ago there was an ad in the local paper for looking for ladies to join an adult call centre. I applied eagerly and perhaps a little naively. In all honesty I think it is work I could do and it’s been suggested to me by men on chat who I’ve ended up talking to on the phone. Some strangers and some I’ve gotten to know. Anyway, I may not be the best at talking dirty but there’s something about my voice that they love. I never did hear back from them. You could either email or phone but I only emailed. Seems a bit redundant but I don’t like calling people. I didn’t want to give up so I found another place to apply. They didn’t have any specific vacancies but you can leave a message and your landline saying you’re interested. So that’s what I did today:

Hello!

I have thought about doing this work before but I never knew how to go about getting it. (I tried applying to a newspaper advert a couple of weeks ago but they haven't got back to me).

As far as experience goes I've done this before as a bit of fun after chatting with men online. I have a nice, I'm told sexy, speaking voice. Some have suggested I do it professionally,(but I'm not sure if they were just teasing). I wouldn't mind finding out though. ;-)

About half of that came from my original email. See what I mean about it being a bit gushy/girly and naive? I’m curious to find out how it works. I remember seeing one of the characters, a stay at home mum, in Short Cuts doing it and other bits of telly and film. It all made it seem like something I could do.

I may not think I’m pretty – not Adult Fantasy House pretty – but I do think I have a nice and maybe even sexy voice. It’s one of the few compliments I can take.

Sexy Old Man

You know one old man I really fancy? John Mahoney.

He was still pretty good looking in the early days of Frasier. He started to look like an old man near the end of the show. I found him very sexy and so much nicer than Frasier and Niles in terms of character (well okay looks too!)

Working it out he would have been 56 when the show first went to air and almost 66 when it ended. Sexy as he damn well is! I couldn't be seen in public with him. It never looks right. “Uncles” and sugar daddies; I don’t know who comes across worse? The old man or the young woman? Of course it’s all personal. As a feminist - and I feel I am one - do I then have to ask myself how I feel about the situation when the genders are reversed? That is, when it’s an older woman, a so-called cougar, with her toy boy? I don’t think I care! I mean this torment is all about me! How do I feel being seen with Terry or any man significantly older then me? Seen as a couple that is. I mean we talked about playing father and daughter in public but I don’t want that. I’ve waited 29 years for someone who wants me for more than sex. I’m not going to pretend I’m not dating them. Why should I? But then I can’t deal with the age difference and the image we’d cast.

What is wrong with me? Why is it that only men of a certain age take notice of me? At first it seemed to be a combination of married and older men. When they are married I reason they were just desperate for anyone to fuck, even me! It hasn't always been that personal or that intense; that is I'm not going to be the love of their life. I'm just the "relief" on the side. I still feel bad for their wives but I also reckon, "If not me then someone else." And it usually is me and a few someone elses. In some ways I’m just too easy to bed. Am I such a freak that it takes a mature taste to see anything worthwhile in me? It’s not bloody fair.

I want to be part of a couple. Run my fingers on the back of his neck – yes his. Being with a woman publically would freak me out as much as being with a man that's too old for me. I’m not a lesbian, bi-curious – bye bitch! – at times, but even then the “experimental” urge hasn’t been that strong, or even seriously there for a long time. Anyway, I’m running my fingers through his hair as we’re waiting for something. Time goes on and I rest my head on his shoulder and he takes my other hand and gives it a squeeze. A tired and content look on his face then a smile and a look in his eyes that says he can’t wait to get back into bed for an encore of last night. I grin back and blush – I can’t help it! Besides, I can’t wait either.

I enjoy Terry’s attention. (Well I'm sure I’ve already said that. I've never been so loved). I can talk to him openly. I have shared most of my deepest, darkest burdens. I’m still worried in some ways about the issues I've raised, but it has been good to talk to someone about them. Like taking a deep breath after holding it for too long. He is my best friend. However the age difference and gender difference can make it awkward. (Perhaps that’s just in my head). But I’m repeating myself (as I’m prone to).

I enjoy the attention from Ash and Garry too but they’re married and it’s not as constant as Terry’s. Sometimes I feel sorry for him. I mean if I’m the highlight of your day – or life by the sounds of it – then I’d want my money back from God, or whoever. [I’m not really happy with how that came out. If anything Terry that’s meant to be a put down of me not you; I never want to hurt you! Although that’s all I can see happening in the end. Crap! Shit! Fuck!] Looking at it another way it’s quite a thing to say about someone. Perhaps I’m just not romantic enough. Being suspicious of romance deep down.

It’s easier when they’re married. Strange to say since I obviously don’t relish being a bit on the side. Sometimes I wish I was a courtesan. A companion and a lover, smart, talented and spending my time with rich men. Oh yes! I think I’d have to be better at sex first! I’m easily used; do I have to enjoy it if I’m a courtesan? A hole, a mouth, I’d rather not be an arsehole, hands, tits; the whole package.*

*Package may or may not include anal. Please consult your service provider or increase your chances and stop off at an off-licence first.

As a sex act anal does not appeal to me. I have done it, not entirely convinced or willingly, it hurt and didn’t turn me on at all. Having, “It feels delicious,” in my ear in a pleading tone doesn’t help either. Don’t think I did it with him. He did not break on through to the other side. I’d had my anal experience by then, not again. You can go down on me if you want though. (Of course I didn’t say that).

I wish I could accept my body, (hair and face included), it would make life and sex so much easier.