NQR HNT (WTF?)

For one thing it's no longer Thursday, at least not in this part of the world. However I'm not waiting another week to post this.

I don't find the photo sexy at all, but it being me I wouldn't! It was more of a joke in my mind, a spoof of a moment in a movie I liked as a teenager. In the film Empire Records the employees find out the store is in danger of losing it's cool indie status and being swallowed up by The Man. Damn the man as they say themselves. They find the new uniforms, gross orange aprons and a list of what employees may or may not wear. The fairly-soon-to-be-famous Renee Zellweger playing the film's slut character has a rebelling scene in which she wears the new uniform with only her sexy, lacy black bra and panties on saying, "And they said no revealing clothing."
  

We've had OUR new aprons for, gosh, a couple of months already. I was so disappointed when I found out you had either a choice of wearing that or a yellow and blue hi vis shirt. Although those shirts can on occasion look sexy on the right type of tradie I find them absolutely disgusting. There is more than a bit of the snob coming out of me when I say it feels like it's branding me in the worst way as a cleaner/low income worker. I don't understand what was so wrong with the white shirt I was wearing before and still wear most of the time underneath the apron. In fact the shirt has the company logo on it whereas the apron doesn't. I'm getting used to it but still find the apron a bit cumbersome. For example the strings if untied fall into the toilets when I'm bending over them. Gross. It's just something extra that doesn't seem necessary at all. And so my protest-cum-ode to its existence is the mock HNT. (I'm not completely sold on the HNT tradition either).

Terry's arousal from helping me get this photo taken was surprising. (The photo doesn't exactly flatter). I wasn't going for that effect when posing. So it was a surprise to see Terry poking out and looking at me expectantly. I think I genuinely said, "Oh hello!" It didn't take me long to get on board and take advantage of the situation. Unfortunately my mum come home before either of us could.

It's not ideal having your fella stay with you when you're still living at home. Picture day was the second case of coitus interruptus. The previous time I thought I heard my mum's car pulling up but you guessed it I was wrong. We didn't really get much intimate times at all. My bed's a bastard at giving the game away - squeak! My mum subtlety offered us the couch when we were all together so I did lie on his lap from time to time. I couldn't get to the kissing in front of her stage, not even on the cheek. Arm around his shoulder or hand on his head was about it.
  

Returning to the work theme I have to say things have taken a dive. Not long after being told I was officially going up to 4 hours a day I suddenly and without no explanation went back to my original shift. That lasted around of pay, so a fortnight. I'm half way through the current round and have been given a few extra hours here and there but it's still a bit of a blow financially. The problem for me is the more often I do my original shift the less I can justify staying on and not going on the dole.

My dole fears are mostly about never getting another job, except possibly cleaning,again! I've been on it before and hated it. I stayed off it a couple of times at the expense of my savings. Just this week I started looking for work again. Didn't see much but did apply to Hungry Jacks online and got rejected barely a couple of hours later.

There doesn't seem to be anything out there for me. And after all this time I don't feel like I can do anything except donkey work. Which was kind of what my mum said to me on Wednesday when I was telling her I got some overtime that day that went to 9:30; and yet I still didn't finish it all! She suggested I do cleaning or something equally uninspiring at an elderly home. That really upset me because it felt like my mum had given up on me. I told her so later after I'd gotten over the initial hurt. We talked it out. Her point was if you have to do shit work then do it during the day. (Fair enough, I guess). My main issue is I don't want to be a cleaner at all. The comment reminded me of times when people ask what I do and when. I hate the reply of can't you do it at another time or somewhere else. Fuck sake that's not what I hate about it! I don't want to be doing it at all. Give me a little more credit, please. Oh and I'm not to fond of the "Someone's got to do it," response either. You know no one wants too and why the hell does it have to be me?

God! I think I better go back to living one day at a time rather than thinking of being in this job for the long term. The more I think about it like that the more I want to give up altogether. (You know what I mean). No future; no point.